A Calm Sense of Self

A Calm Sense of Self

Not all anxiety is problematic. At various points in my life I have felt anxious about tests, job interviews, parent/teacher conferences, going to the bedside of very ill family, driving in bad weather, even going to lunch with friends. This event-related, temporary anxiety helps me focus on the task at hand to avoid dangerous situations, recognize others’ needs, prepare well for presentations, ask for help, and receive motivation to act in ways that minimize unpleasant consequences. 

Anxiety that becomes a diagnosable mental disorder, hangs around after the test, interview, conference, visit, or bad weather is over. Like a big snowstorm can accumulate, piling anxiety upon anxiety until there is no place to shovel it to the side of the emotional roadway, negative results follow. The anxiety-ridden have trouble focusing, which interferes with happiness, limits productivity, saps energy, suffocates relationships, and disrupts spiritual focus. 

All levels of anxiety start with the same root causes—social disconnection, over-stimulation because of too much media, self-imposed high expectations, fast-paced lifestyle, inability to express negative emotions by keeping things bottled up, and, of course, anxiety that is inherited and/or modeled. For me, the secret to keeping anxiety in check is attending to mild, molehill manifestations so they don’t become major. 

Major anxiety is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder when excessive anxiety or worry is displayed “most days for at least six months, about a number of things such as personal health, work, social interactions, and everyday routine life circumstances” (www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml). Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 12% of children, 14% of adolescence, and 18% of the adult population. (See National Institute of Mental Health.) 

Debilitating anxiety is emotionally feeling as though there is an inadequate supply of oxygen in the air, like being continually short of breath. Instead of the level of anxiety that protects, motivates, and increases focus to make me successful, over-anxiety shuts down personality, creativity, connectedness, and productivity. Diagnosing and treating anxiety disorders takes a professional, while mild to moderate anxiety often can be self-managed. 

My anxieties are not because of something in the present. Rather I fear that something in the future will have a bad ending. I won’t be able to remember what I’ve studied for the test. I will be told when I arrive at the business for the interview that the position is filled. My child’s teacher will give me a negative report. The storm may cause accident and injury. My friends may bring up something from the past that makes me uncomfortable. This Chicken Little the-sky-is-falling mentality expresses itself in restlessness, fatigue, trembling, nausea, headache, irritability, diminished aspirations, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, and excessive worry.
                       

If you worry that your anxieties are excessive, consider counseling. If you want to improve your life by worrying less, the scriptures suggest solutions.

The word “fear” is found 554 times in scripture, and the phrase “fear not” is found 87 times. When the Lord gave Joseph Smith a preview of his future in which bad things were going to happen, he taught him how to minimize fear: “I tell you these things because of your prayers; wherefore, treasure up wisdom in your bosoms, lest the wickedness of men reveal these things unto you by their wickedness, in a manner which shall speak in your ears with a voice louder than that which shall shake the earth; but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear” (D&C 38:30).

In these few words, the Lord gives a complete sermon on ways to overcome anxiety:
            1. “I tell you these things because of your prayers.” If you take your fears to your Heavenly Father in prayer, He will help you cope, manage, and survive, step by step.
            2. “Treasure up wisdom.” Filling your mind with truth is a defense against discrediting, disheartening, discouraging, disparaging voices when they whisper in your ear to give in, give out, or give up.
            3. Treasuring up wisdom is a weapon against anxiety that opens the door to evil ideas and evil people—“the wickedness of men” who can “reveal these things unto you by their wickedness.” These “loud voices” can smother the still, small voice of the Spirit “in a manner which shall speak in your ears… which shall shake” relationships and testimony.

4. “If you are prepared….” If you pre-think and plan for the future, you replace negative inertia with positive energy. Worry can be wiped away with confident actions. Corrie Ten Boom, a Holocaust survivor, said: “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.” 

Praying, treasuring up wisdom, shutting out wicked voices, and preparing for the future can change anxiousness into a more relaxed, unruffled, and purposeful state of being. 

The Savior taught many ways to reduce anxiety. One example I often use comes from John 18:2, in which we are told of a garden where “Jesus ofttimes resorted thither with his disciples.” On the night of the Atonement, He did not randomly choose to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane. It seems He went often to His place of retreat and peace. I likewise have “gardens” in my life I resort to physically or in my mind when I feel anxiety rising. Like Jesus took His disciples, I sometimes take a family member or friend with me. There alone or with people I trust implicitly, I find a calm sense of self.

When I empty my mind of worry, I create a place where a calm sense of self can put down roots. A calm sense of self is a workshop within the mind where determination and resilience can replace fear. A calm sense of self is where inaction is overcome by action, where agitation is subdued by contentedness, where fear gives way to faith. A calm sense of self helps me have the discipline to identify where I should put my focus. A calm sense of self helps me fight one battle at a time. When I live in a calm sense of self, doubts are replaced by the courage to do hard things. 

When I feel more anxiety than my comfort level allows, I try the practical how-to approach such as: get out of bed, get dressed, listen to music that uplifts or refreshes, listen to favorite scriptures of conference talks, take in air and breath purposefully, give service, treat myself as a person who deserves to be treated kindly, do a physical activity I enjoy, smile at myself in the mirror, express gratitude. 

Like you, I have survived hard times, which makes us proven survivors. Vinny Genovesi, an actor I know nothing about, made a profound statement to which I relate: “On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that is pretty good.”